--will you cross paths with someone you havent seen in a while?
Have you thought about of facebooked someone that you have not seen lately, or in a very long time for that matter? Have you ever wondered if you'll ever see that person face to face, or when you'll cross paths with that person?
I always wondered about how the world works, and if "running into someone" is more than just a coincidence. I have not thought or investigated too much into this, but sometimes it's really refreshing running into people sometimes. Maybe we all make a certain impact on one another indirectly, maybe good memories resurface, or new memories are created, it's all very interesting.
Hmm, I suppose this was a rather boring post but when do you think is the next time you'll cross paths with someone?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I'm way tardy for the party
So I am VERY tardy for the party. It's been too long Mr. Blogger!
To sum up the rest of the term, I worked hard, and played harder (with people I enjoy a lot). I also tried to venture into another circle of people [A different circle from the one I mentioned in earlier posts duringt he beginning of the year (those people are my peoples!), I started hanging with these people.. like in early December], who I soon found out did not really want me their to begin with, I though I was cool with them until I found out how they felt about me, which made sense after a while. (And honestly, they were most likely intimidated, and I am a 5-Star.. and they were 3-Star status and I shouldn't have been settling for a group of lack luster people.)
But back to this past term, I think it had treated me well, although I found it very difficult to keep the connections i had with some people as taught as they should be. It's just hard managing friends, I know that's not the best way to put it, but that's exactly how it feels sometimes. Like at one point in the beginning of the semster I actually had lists of "friend goals" like "have lunch with __" or "call ___" or "make a party with ___" until I had too many people that I wanted to be relatively apparent in their lives.. then one after another.. I lost track of people. I am still very sorry for that and I did try my best to keep in touch with everyone. That's why during this break, I'd like to somewhat remedy that with people who live around here and makeup for the dead weight loss that I incurred from wasting my time with that other random new circle that could have been put to use more productively I suppose. This has overall, in addition to being very studious, a very social term, I do't think I met this many new people in a single term. And I liked it, but it had some side effects for some other of my friends, I don't really think I'm that apparent in another circle of mine and that they slowly not really included me on things as the term progressed.. I understand why but at the same time, the same exact thing happened last semester (because we were all really busy again and didn't have classes together) and we all seemed to get back on track. Now it's different, I can't put my finger on it, but the only I can do is ask to hang out right? We shall see.
Those were the main components of this past term, OH and of course going to the library and crazy studying, I soon begin to live in the stacks with some good friends ahah! Although after a while I got a little sick of it, since it was really cold and I'd have to work with my coat on lol. I came to realize that I can only go to the library when I feel disorganized and need to do alot of work and can't possibly do the massive amount in my room, then I go to the library and can be mega productive, however if I'm just in a mindset of "well I should go to the library.. because I guess I'll be more productive?" then the library will have no effect and I was probably not be as focused. In those cases, I should be in my room, as I can be more productive there. I learned this towards the end of finals week lol. Alas, the stack led to good times, and we got closer and eventually effectively ousted the "other" people that would try to come lol.
This term overall was great, a lot of good and surprising things happened in addition to over stressing like I usually do (BUT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED... THE STRESS WAS WARRANTED). Although I would prefer to get closer with some people that I met (and continued to hang out with) a few months ago and reconnect with others. I think that taking it slow or taking it however the world gives it to you, is the best way to do things.
Until next time
see ya.
To sum up the rest of the term, I worked hard, and played harder (with people I enjoy a lot). I also tried to venture into another circle of people [A different circle from the one I mentioned in earlier posts duringt he beginning of the year (those people are my peoples!), I started hanging with these people.. like in early December], who I soon found out did not really want me their to begin with, I though I was cool with them until I found out how they felt about me, which made sense after a while. (And honestly, they were most likely intimidated, and I am a 5-Star.. and they were 3-Star status and I shouldn't have been settling for a group of lack luster people.)
But back to this past term, I think it had treated me well, although I found it very difficult to keep the connections i had with some people as taught as they should be. It's just hard managing friends, I know that's not the best way to put it, but that's exactly how it feels sometimes. Like at one point in the beginning of the semster I actually had lists of "friend goals" like "have lunch with __" or "call ___" or "make a party with ___" until I had too many people that I wanted to be relatively apparent in their lives.. then one after another.. I lost track of people. I am still very sorry for that and I did try my best to keep in touch with everyone. That's why during this break, I'd like to somewhat remedy that with people who live around here and makeup for the dead weight loss that I incurred from wasting my time with that other random new circle that could have been put to use more productively I suppose. This has overall, in addition to being very studious, a very social term, I do't think I met this many new people in a single term. And I liked it, but it had some side effects for some other of my friends, I don't really think I'm that apparent in another circle of mine and that they slowly not really included me on things as the term progressed.. I understand why but at the same time, the same exact thing happened last semester (because we were all really busy again and didn't have classes together) and we all seemed to get back on track. Now it's different, I can't put my finger on it, but the only I can do is ask to hang out right? We shall see.
Those were the main components of this past term, OH and of course going to the library and crazy studying, I soon begin to live in the stacks with some good friends ahah! Although after a while I got a little sick of it, since it was really cold and I'd have to work with my coat on lol. I came to realize that I can only go to the library when I feel disorganized and need to do alot of work and can't possibly do the massive amount in my room, then I go to the library and can be mega productive, however if I'm just in a mindset of "well I should go to the library.. because I guess I'll be more productive?" then the library will have no effect and I was probably not be as focused. In those cases, I should be in my room, as I can be more productive there. I learned this towards the end of finals week lol. Alas, the stack led to good times, and we got closer and eventually effectively ousted the "other" people that would try to come lol.
This term overall was great, a lot of good and surprising things happened in addition to over stressing like I usually do (BUT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED... THE STRESS WAS WARRANTED). Although I would prefer to get closer with some people that I met (and continued to hang out with) a few months ago and reconnect with others. I think that taking it slow or taking it however the world gives it to you, is the best way to do things.
Until next time
see ya.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
fun funn funn
aside form the last post, may I mention I had an amazing thursday night
filled with a gathering thing in my room --- funnn
karaoke-ing --- LOLOL amazing
random restaurant --- alrightt
and getting back.. EXTREMELY late.
although i wish I had unlimited funding to do this type of thing a lot.. it was nice.
more gatherings to come.. my partner in crime and i have tons of themes =)
filled with a gathering thing in my room --- funnn
karaoke-ing --- LOLOL amazing
random restaurant --- alrightt
and getting back.. EXTREMELY late.
although i wish I had unlimited funding to do this type of thing a lot.. it was nice.
more gatherings to come.. my partner in crime and i have tons of themes =)
Things Coming Full Circle? Or Is The World Fooling Me?
First of all... I've been meaning to post for a while. but.. alas I have not. LIFE. lol
Lately, things have just seemed to be going up, I'm overall less stressed (for now) and am enjoying myself, and most importantly going with the flow --well if i choose the flow, it's certainly for the better. But I cna't help to wonder if this feeling is going to go away soon. I have a wierd feeling that midterms are going to screw me over, although I will of course make efforts to prevent that from happening... sometimes these great things don't last forever because honestly that's how life is. The uneasy feeling I've had about some people has turned into a slight "?" which for your information is good haha. I just want to see how things are going to play out. But I think I'm getting some more good people in my life in addition to the ones I already have.
Honestly, to whoever is reading this now.. I can't or don't feel like writing the rest of my thoughts or random things right now, I haven't sorted out my mind just yet... I think that's why I've felt really odd and uneasy these past few days. I'm going to go for a walk.
I still want to know how to put a song in this damn blog lol
also.. I think i will finally get the red shoes.. lol
--See ya until next time. which WILL be sooner.
Lately, things have just seemed to be going up, I'm overall less stressed (for now) and am enjoying myself, and most importantly going with the flow --well if i choose the flow, it's certainly for the better. But I cna't help to wonder if this feeling is going to go away soon. I have a wierd feeling that midterms are going to screw me over, although I will of course make efforts to prevent that from happening... sometimes these great things don't last forever because honestly that's how life is. The uneasy feeling I've had about some people has turned into a slight "?" which for your information is good haha. I just want to see how things are going to play out. But I think I'm getting some more good people in my life in addition to the ones I already have.
Honestly, to whoever is reading this now.. I can't or don't feel like writing the rest of my thoughts or random things right now, I haven't sorted out my mind just yet... I think that's why I've felt really odd and uneasy these past few days. I'm going to go for a walk.
I still want to know how to put a song in this damn blog lol
also.. I think i will finally get the red shoes.. lol
--See ya until next time. which WILL be sooner.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
A question for you // Ugh Jobs // Non-Asians (YAY)
first things first!! I got my new computer as of 9/9/09! lol -- a lot earlier than I expected to receive it! It's so nice and completely functional lol.
I'm a bit fuzzy on a certain issue -- of just, well insincere people-- and if they should even be classified as such. For example, say you have friends that you hang out with on occasionally. The nature of the hangout is purely casual, and you aren't in this primary circle of people. But for the most part, they are very nice to you and always mention hanging out together or simply talk to outside of class sometimes. However eventually you find out that all these events have been happening, and you weren't really included. But given that they want you to hang out with them, and you have made attempts to hang out with them, but their feelings don't seem to add up. Now the question is, are they being insincere...consequently, fake -- in even being interested in you as a friend by not REALLY wanting to hang out with you. OR are they clearly being real because if they don't want to hang out with you, the won't call you just because they said they want to hang out "sometime," and you should have gotten the picture by now. Just let that sink in for a bit..
Note: If you know me, you'd know exactly whcih people I'm talking about lol -- funny thing is, I have told them this too, and I get a "What are you talking about? *with odd look on face*"
Alas, this past week has been alright, nothing particularly special except for getting some clothes, shoes and stuff in the mail. I honestly have to stop spending money on food, and consequently.. for like the rest of the month.. i think my limit will be 10 bucks a week.. or rather for the next 4 weeks. Trust me, I can do this just because of the simple fact that I survived on 5 bucks for like 2 months at some point last year (given I had a larger meal plan last year). I have food stocked up in my rather large bin. So I can sustain myself. and if not, I'll have to use money I suppose. But I took my debit card out of my wallet and it's in my desk now. And when I do that, I make a decision to put a stop to all funds and transactions.
Ugh, tomorrow will probably be the first week of 4 problem sets, frequent Spanish homework and perhaps the start of an art humanities paper. Now, this will... be the end of many large stints of free time I have now which is a bit sad but we have to do what we must to succeed in life. Hopefully I could get this internship I applied to (well there will be more to apply to in the coming days) because I think I have an "in" on it. However, I honestly feel I'm not too qualified compared to other people I know who actually know in this field and did "real" stuff this summer. (Note: I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, however, employers do, so that shit matters -- gpa, experience, etc. stfu if you are saying it does not because you are lying.) Someone who can actually talk about finance or..something along those lines, which I honestly can't do -- although I am becoming more and more interested in this certain field I don't quite know if I'm just trying to convince myself if this is the right thing, or if it really is. It the true answer is the former, (I do not really know yet because I still trying to figure out stuff and for myself is this is great) then we have a slight problem.
rawr but for now what I am going to do, is what I've been doing, maxminizing my opportunities, converting myself back into an ultra efficient student, staying true to myself and being cognizant of my actions and there consequences and staying/hanging with real, legitimate people.
--"The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed." --Richard Brinsley Sheridan
it's on my wall in my room, and honestly I could not ask for something else to describe my work ethic, however I consequently lose a bit of my sanity, but that is fine.
Aside from all this, the 4A crew & co. is awesome, they always been my peoples kudos to the world for setting up that suite. (well the ones we hang with) And they are...well, my only non asian circle of people, which honestly can be really refreshing at times -- because like it's really no offense to them, because I am still there friends lol but.. it's just interesting and nice with the others haha. (oh and the frosh are also non asian too, but then again.. they drop into a different category on their own because they are frosh--that will be something to mention on a later post.
I'm out. see ya.
I'm a bit fuzzy on a certain issue -- of just, well insincere people-- and if they should even be classified as such. For example, say you have friends that you hang out with on occasionally. The nature of the hangout is purely casual, and you aren't in this primary circle of people. But for the most part, they are very nice to you and always mention hanging out together or simply talk to outside of class sometimes. However eventually you find out that all these events have been happening, and you weren't really included. But given that they want you to hang out with them, and you have made attempts to hang out with them, but their feelings don't seem to add up. Now the question is, are they being insincere...consequently, fake -- in even being interested in you as a friend by not REALLY wanting to hang out with you. OR are they clearly being real because if they don't want to hang out with you, the won't call you just because they said they want to hang out "sometime," and you should have gotten the picture by now. Just let that sink in for a bit..
Note: If you know me, you'd know exactly whcih people I'm talking about lol -- funny thing is, I have told them this too, and I get a "What are you talking about? *with odd look on face*"
Alas, this past week has been alright, nothing particularly special except for getting some clothes, shoes and stuff in the mail. I honestly have to stop spending money on food, and consequently.. for like the rest of the month.. i think my limit will be 10 bucks a week.. or rather for the next 4 weeks. Trust me, I can do this just because of the simple fact that I survived on 5 bucks for like 2 months at some point last year (given I had a larger meal plan last year). I have food stocked up in my rather large bin. So I can sustain myself. and if not, I'll have to use money I suppose. But I took my debit card out of my wallet and it's in my desk now. And when I do that, I make a decision to put a stop to all funds and transactions.
Ugh, tomorrow will probably be the first week of 4 problem sets, frequent Spanish homework and perhaps the start of an art humanities paper. Now, this will... be the end of many large stints of free time I have now which is a bit sad but we have to do what we must to succeed in life. Hopefully I could get this internship I applied to (well there will be more to apply to in the coming days) because I think I have an "in" on it. However, I honestly feel I'm not too qualified compared to other people I know who actually know in this field and did "real" stuff this summer. (Note: I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, however, employers do, so that shit matters -- gpa, experience, etc. stfu if you are saying it does not because you are lying.) Someone who can actually talk about finance or..something along those lines, which I honestly can't do -- although I am becoming more and more interested in this certain field I don't quite know if I'm just trying to convince myself if this is the right thing, or if it really is. It the true answer is the former, (I do not really know yet because I still trying to figure out stuff and for myself is this is great) then we have a slight problem.
rawr but for now what I am going to do, is what I've been doing, maxminizing my opportunities, converting myself back into an ultra efficient student, staying true to myself and being cognizant of my actions and there consequences and staying/hanging with real, legitimate people.
--"The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed." --Richard Brinsley Sheridan
it's on my wall in my room, and honestly I could not ask for something else to describe my work ethic, however I consequently lose a bit of my sanity, but that is fine.
Aside from all this, the 4A crew & co. is awesome, they always been my peoples kudos to the world for setting up that suite. (well the ones we hang with) And they are...well, my only non asian circle of people, which honestly can be really refreshing at times -- because like it's really no offense to them, because I am still there friends lol but.. it's just interesting and nice with the others haha. (oh and the frosh are also non asian too, but then again.. they drop into a different category on their own because they are frosh--that will be something to mention on a later post.
I'm out. see ya.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
A Little...well Really Late but nevertheless, back
Well here I am, on a Sunday, having some downtime, since I got everything down already.. for now, well I still have to rewrite a problem into my homework and I think I should reread my financial econ stuff, since I know some of that stuff didn't really stick into my mind. Now, back on topic.
My room is nice, albeit smaller than last year's (specifically, 20 square feet less) but it's not like I have that much stuff anyway. But at first my closet was an issue, because I guess I have more shirts than the average individual and my entire hanging section of my closet was devoted to the shirts, hoodies and jackets, while my jeans and other things ended up in a drawer on my dresser.
I'm still trying to figure out if I made a the right decision in picking Schapiro, being that the whole building was pretty much empty when I went to register and that my floor was basically going to be about 5 guys (actually, 3 including myself), the bathroom would have been amazing when compared to a lower Broadway floor, a slightly bigger room (which I feel is A LOT bigger) but running the risk of having an excess amount of guys on the floor -- thus killing a bathroom scheme. Also, most of my friends live in Broadway, and i mainly only know around 10 people in Schapiro and am only close to 1 of them lol. But I purposely choose it so that I could be a tad further away, so that I could study more and not be distracted and also have the opportunity to meet a whole bunch of new people on my floor. I think it's coming out well though since my floor is somewhat social and filled will some pretty interesting and cool characters. I'm slowly thinking it was the right decision, but I can't help to think about the "what if.." you know?
--Sometimes don't you hate having to make all these choices? All these decisions that will eventually affect you sometime along the road of life. That's when my view on one aspect of life comes into play. You either make a decision or you don't -- okay this is off the topic of choosing rooms but I am going somewhere with this.
It's along the lines of "trying" --what is the concept of "trying?" The formal definition is --to make an attempt at-- (out of the 5 merriam-webster gave me, this is one I'd like to talk about). Honestly, if you really think about it, when you "try" to do something do you complete it? or does whatever you were doing not get finished? The simplest example would be if I asked you "Try to pop this balloon!" Now what would you do? Pop it right? In doing that you didn't "try" to pop the balloon, you just popped it. I hope it was clear, but you can't "try" to pop a balloon, you either pop it or you leave it alone. In that sense, the whole concept of "trying" doesn't exist. In life, you either do things, or you don't -- and if you really tr telling yourself, that you "tried" to do homework, or you "tried" to study for a test, or you "tried" to call someone (well unless they never answered but well you know what I mean) -- you either did it, or you didn't. And that's why I think everyone at some point needs to self evaluate and think about what they are doing in their lives, and are they really doing everything they can to fulfill their goals, dreams, short-term and long-term agendas/wants/needs or are you just letting opportunities pass by or just fooling yourself into thinking you "tried your best" NO! you either did your best or you didn't. I honestly think it's a healthy and more realist approach to thinking about life because it gives you a nice perspective on things and allows you to at least organize what you want to do with your life. Although it is hard, I think everyone should take a try at this approach, maybe it will help? I saw this man on tv talking about this, and a lot of things clicked months later in a certain point in my life.
Back on track? but I hope things go smoothly this year and that maybe I could make some new bonds, or stronger bonds with people, and hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised sometime during this year with stuff. There has been a whole lot of partying going on haha --I have paried that much though, just some good casual stuff. ALSO something else to think about, have you ever cancelled on other people that you are pretty close with, to then hang out with a different group of people who you aren't that close with but believe you slowly get there if you join them in a hangout or whatever. OR have you gone to hang out with this said circle of people even though you didn't initially want to? but went just so that you could be more a member of the group? -- Given the people in this group like you and want you to be with them and such -- or that you want to get to know them and stuff. Has this ever happened to you? -- well hopefully someone will take a gander at this and comment lol.
--until next time ..hopefully more frequently! I've missed you blogger! (and that was a sincere statement!)
also -- check out username: Timaya -- on youtube! he's so funny and amazing! lol
My room is nice, albeit smaller than last year's (specifically, 20 square feet less) but it's not like I have that much stuff anyway. But at first my closet was an issue, because I guess I have more shirts than the average individual and my entire hanging section of my closet was devoted to the shirts, hoodies and jackets, while my jeans and other things ended up in a drawer on my dresser.
I'm still trying to figure out if I made a the right decision in picking Schapiro, being that the whole building was pretty much empty when I went to register and that my floor was basically going to be about 5 guys (actually, 3 including myself), the bathroom would have been amazing when compared to a lower Broadway floor, a slightly bigger room (which I feel is A LOT bigger) but running the risk of having an excess amount of guys on the floor -- thus killing a bathroom scheme. Also, most of my friends live in Broadway, and i mainly only know around 10 people in Schapiro and am only close to 1 of them lol. But I purposely choose it so that I could be a tad further away, so that I could study more and not be distracted and also have the opportunity to meet a whole bunch of new people on my floor. I think it's coming out well though since my floor is somewhat social and filled will some pretty interesting and cool characters. I'm slowly thinking it was the right decision, but I can't help to think about the "what if.." you know?
--Sometimes don't you hate having to make all these choices? All these decisions that will eventually affect you sometime along the road of life. That's when my view on one aspect of life comes into play. You either make a decision or you don't -- okay this is off the topic of choosing rooms but I am going somewhere with this.
It's along the lines of "trying" --what is the concept of "trying?" The formal definition is --to make an attempt at-- (out of the 5 merriam-webster gave me, this is one I'd like to talk about). Honestly, if you really think about it, when you "try" to do something do you complete it? or does whatever you were doing not get finished? The simplest example would be if I asked you "Try to pop this balloon!" Now what would you do? Pop it right? In doing that you didn't "try" to pop the balloon, you just popped it. I hope it was clear, but you can't "try" to pop a balloon, you either pop it or you leave it alone. In that sense, the whole concept of "trying" doesn't exist. In life, you either do things, or you don't -- and if you really tr telling yourself, that you "tried" to do homework, or you "tried" to study for a test, or you "tried" to call someone (well unless they never answered but well you know what I mean) -- you either did it, or you didn't. And that's why I think everyone at some point needs to self evaluate and think about what they are doing in their lives, and are they really doing everything they can to fulfill their goals, dreams, short-term and long-term agendas/wants/needs or are you just letting opportunities pass by or just fooling yourself into thinking you "tried your best" NO! you either did your best or you didn't. I honestly think it's a healthy and more realist approach to thinking about life because it gives you a nice perspective on things and allows you to at least organize what you want to do with your life. Although it is hard, I think everyone should take a try at this approach, maybe it will help? I saw this man on tv talking about this, and a lot of things clicked months later in a certain point in my life.
Back on track? but I hope things go smoothly this year and that maybe I could make some new bonds, or stronger bonds with people, and hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised sometime during this year with stuff. There has been a whole lot of partying going on haha --I have paried that much though, just some good casual stuff. ALSO something else to think about, have you ever cancelled on other people that you are pretty close with, to then hang out with a different group of people who you aren't that close with but believe you slowly get there if you join them in a hangout or whatever. OR have you gone to hang out with this said circle of people even though you didn't initially want to? but went just so that you could be more a member of the group? -- Given the people in this group like you and want you to be with them and such -- or that you want to get to know them and stuff. Has this ever happened to you? -- well hopefully someone will take a gander at this and comment lol.
--until next time ..hopefully more frequently! I've missed you blogger! (and that was a sincere statement!)
also -- check out username: Timaya -- on youtube! he's so funny and amazing! lol
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Some facebook note
I felt like posting this here, for those of you who choose to read this.
1. I've come to realize that my ex... --N/A --don't have an ex.
2. I am listening...creepy sound of my empty house.
3. I talk...things that are on my mind or the things I want to do in life. they might be repeated because it takes a while for thoughts to sink in my head. Sometimes people do not care for what I have to say, or even listen to it .
4. I love...some people I shouldn't even attach the word too, I don't have the best judgement sometimes.
5. My best friends...the most unique and dedicated people in my life, it's not easy for me to call someone this.
6. My enemies hate me because... I've neve really gotten a straight answer, so I'm not quite sure yet.
7. I lost...myself many times throughout the years, thinking that what I was doing at the point was right. Even at this very moment, I have to make a decision if I want to lose some people, because I might get hurt.
8. I hate it when people...are insincere about having no interest of being a friend, just be honest.
9. Love is...something I want.
10. Marriage...another set chapter in life that society claims we have to do.
11. Someone, somewhere, is thinking...well, not about me.
12. I'll always be...someone who cares.
13. I have a crush...on someone I probably shouldn't.
14. The last time I cried was because...I realized how different things would be during the academic year with some people.
15. My mobile is the...thing that keeps me connected and also causes me to become frustrated with things.
16. Before I go to sleep at night... too many random unnecessary things get done.
17. When I wake up in the morning...depending on my mood, things can be amazing or depressing.
18. Right now I am thinking...why do I have this uneasy feeling within? Why do I think that my newfound friends are not going to work out? Why does he person I always think will be an amazing friend, turn out to be someone that does not really feel the same.
19. Babies are...things I'm afraid to encounter or have in the future.
20. I go on facebook...in hopes of seeing a notification, to observe people's exchanges or to look at someone's photos. -- nothing good comes out of this.
21. Today I...hope to not be stuck in the state I am in right now.
22. Tonight I...hasn't come yet, but last night I was extremely disappointed.
23. Soon I will...study? (can't really answer this question).
24. I really want...a person, warmth, more money, to be as intelligent as the world allows me to be, to be successful so that the people after me won't have to work as hard, to be completely myself with my family, to complete all the pre-set chapters of life that society has already written the titles to (and others of course).
25. The person who is most likely to re-post this...absolutely no one, it's not like they will not probably notice this anyway lol.
--as you can see, I'm a bit down..yeah.. things are a bit rough in my head..
1. I've come to realize that my ex... --N/A --don't have an ex.
2. I am listening...creepy sound of my empty house.
3. I talk...things that are on my mind or the things I want to do in life. they might be repeated because it takes a while for thoughts to sink in my head. Sometimes people do not care for what I have to say, or even listen to it .
4. I love...some people I shouldn't even attach the word too, I don't have the best judgement sometimes.
5. My best friends...the most unique and dedicated people in my life, it's not easy for me to call someone this.
6. My enemies hate me because... I've neve really gotten a straight answer, so I'm not quite sure yet.
7. I lost...myself many times throughout the years, thinking that what I was doing at the point was right. Even at this very moment, I have to make a decision if I want to lose some people, because I might get hurt.
8. I hate it when people...are insincere about having no interest of being a friend, just be honest.
9. Love is...something I want.
10. Marriage...another set chapter in life that society claims we have to do.
11. Someone, somewhere, is thinking...well, not about me.
12. I'll always be...someone who cares.
13. I have a crush...on someone I probably shouldn't.
14. The last time I cried was because...I realized how different things would be during the academic year with some people.
15. My mobile is the...thing that keeps me connected and also causes me to become frustrated with things.
16. Before I go to sleep at night... too many random unnecessary things get done.
17. When I wake up in the morning...depending on my mood, things can be amazing or depressing.
18. Right now I am thinking...why do I have this uneasy feeling within? Why do I think that my newfound friends are not going to work out? Why does he person I always think will be an amazing friend, turn out to be someone that does not really feel the same.
19. Babies are...things I'm afraid to encounter or have in the future.
20. I go on facebook...in hopes of seeing a notification, to observe people's exchanges or to look at someone's photos. -- nothing good comes out of this.
21. Today I...hope to not be stuck in the state I am in right now.
22. Tonight I...hasn't come yet, but last night I was extremely disappointed.
23. Soon I will...study? (can't really answer this question).
24. I really want...a person, warmth, more money, to be as intelligent as the world allows me to be, to be successful so that the people after me won't have to work as hard, to be completely myself with my family, to complete all the pre-set chapters of life that society has already written the titles to (and others of course).
25. The person who is most likely to re-post this...absolutely no one, it's not like they will not probably notice this anyway lol.
--as you can see, I'm a bit down..yeah.. things are a bit rough in my head..
Do You Fit In?
Not on topic, but after moving in and my sister and step-cousin into their apartment in New Jersey, I felt really weird in the sense that these people are now starting the next chapter of their lives: Going into the working world. That's something that's so close for me, and honestly I got really scared because the job market is iffy and in my field of study -- the people in business only choose the BEST, which I feel just causes me to put more unnecessary pressure on myself, super stressing out and basically perhaps repeating the mental state I was in second semester sophomore year. Well, it got me great grades, but I think I could have also been able to have a stable mental state and get great grades without having to sacrifice that much. But then again, I had my reasons for doing second term the way I did.
Back to what I am going to talk about on this post. When meeting people, especially in college, I feel it's important to find a friend circle in which you feel you fit in, or at least a sub division of a friend circle. For those of you who have already completed a year of college you probably kind of understand what I'm talking about. As the years go by in college, it is much harder in my opinion to explore, broaden your horizons and make different friends and consequently slowly dropping into a different social circle. Then comes the work of getting to know all the members of this circle and such and eventually having them feel comfortable with you being around in hangouts, conversing with you about things other than class and actually asking you to do you things (maybe).
Aside all this branching out from your initial friend circle, there comes a more important question: Do you feel you fit in? When one initially asks this question, they would probably immediately respond in their mind with something along the lines of: "Of course," or "...Yeah." However, if you really, REALLY thought about that question, long and hard, would your answer still be the same? I think it's completely normal to ask yourself this question, because in the end, everyone would prefer to happy and comfortable than secretly feel awkward or unhappy within social situations. I've seen many people just stay with friends out of convenience because they have known these people for so long or for some other reason. Personally, I feel that if someone doesn't feel that they fit in with the friends they have now, most likely because of personality differences then why are you letting yourself be in this situation still?
Honestly I still feel out of place in some the friend circles I have -- whether it be because a certain set of friends got closer with each other and you really weren't there for those moments, because some people have changed or are not really themselves with you or if most of these friends are not really embracing you and not making a friendship a 100/100 type of deal, or simple things like life experiences, age, or personality differences. And I honestly do try with all these people to hang out or get to know them, but if some don't reciprocate I at least knew I made the effort. In some cases, some people could be just fake, giving you the usual small talk, with a smile on their face and acting as if they might want to hang out when they know damn well in their mind that they really have NO interest in getting to know you.
It's interesting how things work out, because you are usually never close with an entire group of friends, usually two or three or maybe even four because honestly there isn't much time to get to know all these people and in addition, every single individual works differently and it might take 2 years for someone to actually get comfortable with you (although that might be too late and you may not be there anymore for them) so an approach that worked with growing closer to one friend might not work with another.
Be sure take a reality check though, because at random points in time if you are unhappy with people, for simply being themselves and for their random quirks --when at one point in time before that moment you were embracing this person (or people) then perhaps the problem lies within yourself. Whether you may be insecure about your standing with other people, affected by trivial things in life or by simply being jealous or another person, these are issues that need to be fixed within for you to eventually feel comfortable with anyone in your life. If the necessary steps do not get taken to slowly fix this, you will just be left unsatisfied and in the same situation every time.
Back to this whole fitting in thing, if you really feel you don't, assess the situation and see what's really the issue, reflect, digest and try to fix the issue. And if it's an issue that you feel isn't worth fixing, then make sure you are making a sound, healthy decision because sometimes things can not be taken back. In the end, everyone should be happy with being themselves and having people around them that embrace each other and work together well. If not, perhaps you should start branching out and finding people who are more your style. That doesn't mean to flat out ditch your other friends, (well unless you despise them) but it just means to perhaps spend less time with them than you usually would in order to use that time for better and maybe more worthwhile opportunities. Never let ANY opportunity that you see that interests you slip by, because you probably will not have a second chance at it.
That's all I have to say for now about this. More to come. I can't believe I move-in in 3 days. Frigg..
Back to what I am going to talk about on this post. When meeting people, especially in college, I feel it's important to find a friend circle in which you feel you fit in, or at least a sub division of a friend circle. For those of you who have already completed a year of college you probably kind of understand what I'm talking about. As the years go by in college, it is much harder in my opinion to explore, broaden your horizons and make different friends and consequently slowly dropping into a different social circle. Then comes the work of getting to know all the members of this circle and such and eventually having them feel comfortable with you being around in hangouts, conversing with you about things other than class and actually asking you to do you things (maybe).
Aside all this branching out from your initial friend circle, there comes a more important question: Do you feel you fit in? When one initially asks this question, they would probably immediately respond in their mind with something along the lines of: "Of course," or "...Yeah." However, if you really, REALLY thought about that question, long and hard, would your answer still be the same? I think it's completely normal to ask yourself this question, because in the end, everyone would prefer to happy and comfortable than secretly feel awkward or unhappy within social situations. I've seen many people just stay with friends out of convenience because they have known these people for so long or for some other reason. Personally, I feel that if someone doesn't feel that they fit in with the friends they have now, most likely because of personality differences then why are you letting yourself be in this situation still?
Honestly I still feel out of place in some the friend circles I have -- whether it be because a certain set of friends got closer with each other and you really weren't there for those moments, because some people have changed or are not really themselves with you or if most of these friends are not really embracing you and not making a friendship a 100/100 type of deal, or simple things like life experiences, age, or personality differences. And I honestly do try with all these people to hang out or get to know them, but if some don't reciprocate I at least knew I made the effort. In some cases, some people could be just fake, giving you the usual small talk, with a smile on their face and acting as if they might want to hang out when they know damn well in their mind that they really have NO interest in getting to know you.
It's interesting how things work out, because you are usually never close with an entire group of friends, usually two or three or maybe even four because honestly there isn't much time to get to know all these people and in addition, every single individual works differently and it might take 2 years for someone to actually get comfortable with you (although that might be too late and you may not be there anymore for them) so an approach that worked with growing closer to one friend might not work with another.
Be sure take a reality check though, because at random points in time if you are unhappy with people, for simply being themselves and for their random quirks --when at one point in time before that moment you were embracing this person (or people) then perhaps the problem lies within yourself. Whether you may be insecure about your standing with other people, affected by trivial things in life or by simply being jealous or another person, these are issues that need to be fixed within for you to eventually feel comfortable with anyone in your life. If the necessary steps do not get taken to slowly fix this, you will just be left unsatisfied and in the same situation every time.
Back to this whole fitting in thing, if you really feel you don't, assess the situation and see what's really the issue, reflect, digest and try to fix the issue. And if it's an issue that you feel isn't worth fixing, then make sure you are making a sound, healthy decision because sometimes things can not be taken back. In the end, everyone should be happy with being themselves and having people around them that embrace each other and work together well. If not, perhaps you should start branching out and finding people who are more your style. That doesn't mean to flat out ditch your other friends, (well unless you despise them) but it just means to perhaps spend less time with them than you usually would in order to use that time for better and maybe more worthwhile opportunities. Never let ANY opportunity that you see that interests you slip by, because you probably will not have a second chance at it.
That's all I have to say for now about this. More to come. I can't believe I move-in in 3 days. Frigg..
Saturday, August 29, 2009
"See you later..." instead of "Good to see you again!"
I've realized that during the year, i'll probably post about once a week.. or every other week, I don;t want this to go to waste and like have no posts until late December when I get back home lol.
So I think most of you would be glad to hear that on Wednesday and Thursday, which were quite sunny and amazing, that I went out and had some good times! Roamed around and shopped with Rex and Angela and then went to Buffalo Wild Wings --which was amazing! And then we went to target and stayed there forever looking at movies and video games. And Thursday I got a haircut, which I think is alright but also went to Columbia to chill with people. Out of all the people I know that are on campus currently, almost all of them are busy with things whether is RA training, Orientation Leader (OL) training, some type of program the person is in, or they aren't even there...it does seem weird because you want to chill with people but you can't. Anyways Thursday was fun because it was a really random sequence of events, anyways I didn't really come here to start telling people about my day.
I was recently informed (and so were others) that a close friend of ours is leaving for home, and not returning to Columbia. For reasons that I don't even fully know yet, well I am trying to put bit and pieces of stories together. But she just didn't want to mention it because she did not want us to get too concerned with her situation. Considering I found out, the morning before she left to go back home, it was definitely a bomb that dropped way too soon. Like BAM, okay bye. I like others, was just speechless for a bit, wondering, confused, angry, sad, just sinking in my own mind for about 20 minutes or so until she asked me to start talking because it's better to say what I was thinking rather than just not speaking. So odd, it's similar to saying goodbye to a high school friend, except with high school friends you know they live in the same state so you will definitely see them if you make the effort (and if they do so as well). And i suppose similar to what would happen after graduation, but a graduation goodbye is bittersweet and you'll be somewhat mentally prepared (similar to high school), and this...was rather just unexpected, surprising and saddening.
I understand that she didn't want to make people act differently by telling people when she first decided to stay in her home state and go to school there, (given she decided last week) with her when hanging out because then the thought in a friend's mind would be, "oh man, but she's leaving on saturday I better be nice and make sure the day is really awesome..." We are all older and more mature now and have been in college for long enough to know how to make sound adult decisions and she has to do what she has to do whether that means she's here or she's not. It's going to be wierd because we won't see her as frequently, going from 8-9 months of the full year to 2 or 3 times a year is going to take some time to adjust to. AND we all move in next week... =/ I'm honestly tired of saying goodbyes, I almost just couldn't do it anymore, from leaving my suite, to leaving the students..rather, friends at ASP, to now this.. it's a bit much to handle in one summer.
Me and what I'd to like to call my primary social circle are a small family and we all hang out and have shared a lot with each other, although we kind of created some subdivisions and have gotten closer to other people in the group, I had was fortunate to get to know her very well and she was someone I really didn't mind saying anything that was on my mind to, and someone I was really comfortable with although she would always playfully give me a freaking hard time and was stubborn lol, but who isn't? I think every single person in that circle is extremely stubborn, with the exception of one of two people haha. The bonds you make in college with people are interesting, well specifically the closer friends you have, it's a very open, understanding and ever growing bond because everyone is going through the motions of college and going through similar life experiences. Anyways well she booked a flight to new york for thanksgiving time so we'll see her then, I hope everything goes well and that she gets to working on and fixing up or healing whatever needs to be aided. And if she ever wants to come back then that'd be great too.
Ahh I hope no one I know who is an incoming freshman has to deal with something like this, because honestly it's hard and something you aren't used to. People aren't used to goodbyes, only "good to see you"s prior to graduating. (Well whatever, I will see her later! =) )
--Until the next post. See ya.
So I think most of you would be glad to hear that on Wednesday and Thursday, which were quite sunny and amazing, that I went out and had some good times! Roamed around and shopped with Rex and Angela and then went to Buffalo Wild Wings --which was amazing! And then we went to target and stayed there forever looking at movies and video games. And Thursday I got a haircut, which I think is alright but also went to Columbia to chill with people. Out of all the people I know that are on campus currently, almost all of them are busy with things whether is RA training, Orientation Leader (OL) training, some type of program the person is in, or they aren't even there...it does seem weird because you want to chill with people but you can't. Anyways Thursday was fun because it was a really random sequence of events, anyways I didn't really come here to start telling people about my day.
I was recently informed (and so were others) that a close friend of ours is leaving for home, and not returning to Columbia. For reasons that I don't even fully know yet, well I am trying to put bit and pieces of stories together. But she just didn't want to mention it because she did not want us to get too concerned with her situation. Considering I found out, the morning before she left to go back home, it was definitely a bomb that dropped way too soon. Like BAM, okay bye. I like others, was just speechless for a bit, wondering, confused, angry, sad, just sinking in my own mind for about 20 minutes or so until she asked me to start talking because it's better to say what I was thinking rather than just not speaking. So odd, it's similar to saying goodbye to a high school friend, except with high school friends you know they live in the same state so you will definitely see them if you make the effort (and if they do so as well). And i suppose similar to what would happen after graduation, but a graduation goodbye is bittersweet and you'll be somewhat mentally prepared (similar to high school), and this...was rather just unexpected, surprising and saddening.
I understand that she didn't want to make people act differently by telling people when she first decided to stay in her home state and go to school there, (given she decided last week) with her when hanging out because then the thought in a friend's mind would be, "oh man, but she's leaving on saturday I better be nice and make sure the day is really awesome..." We are all older and more mature now and have been in college for long enough to know how to make sound adult decisions and she has to do what she has to do whether that means she's here or she's not. It's going to be wierd because we won't see her as frequently, going from 8-9 months of the full year to 2 or 3 times a year is going to take some time to adjust to. AND we all move in next week... =/ I'm honestly tired of saying goodbyes, I almost just couldn't do it anymore, from leaving my suite, to leaving the students..rather, friends at ASP, to now this.. it's a bit much to handle in one summer.
Me and what I'd to like to call my primary social circle are a small family and we all hang out and have shared a lot with each other, although we kind of created some subdivisions and have gotten closer to other people in the group, I had was fortunate to get to know her very well and she was someone I really didn't mind saying anything that was on my mind to, and someone I was really comfortable with although she would always playfully give me a freaking hard time and was stubborn lol, but who isn't? I think every single person in that circle is extremely stubborn, with the exception of one of two people haha. The bonds you make in college with people are interesting, well specifically the closer friends you have, it's a very open, understanding and ever growing bond because everyone is going through the motions of college and going through similar life experiences. Anyways well she booked a flight to new york for thanksgiving time so we'll see her then, I hope everything goes well and that she gets to working on and fixing up or healing whatever needs to be aided. And if she ever wants to come back then that'd be great too.
Ahh I hope no one I know who is an incoming freshman has to deal with something like this, because honestly it's hard and something you aren't used to. People aren't used to goodbyes, only "good to see you"s prior to graduating. (Well whatever, I will see her later! =) )
--Until the next post. See ya.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Parent Stuff // Food Adventure! // A Good Picture
/// onto lighter issues and things that make me smile more lol ///
I posted this as a comment on one of prsun2's blog posts but I felt I should mention this on mine:
I'll just tell you all the food places I've been too -- since that was the conquest this summer lol
---Bakeries
Donut Plant
Levaine Bakery
Jacques Torres Bakery
Martha's Bakery
Momofuku Milkbar
Blackhound Bakery
Viniero's Bakery
Sugar Sweet Sunshine
Amy's Bread
Bakery Bouchon
---Ice Cream / Frozen Yogurt / Gelato
Cones Ice Cream
Yogurtland
16 Handles
Larted Gelato
---French Fries
Pommes Frites
---Asian
Otafuku
Yakitori Tory's
Yakitori Totto
Yakitori Sun-Chan
Thai Market
Tokyo Cafe
Minca Ramen
Sapporo
NY HotDog and Coffee
---Italian / Mediterranean
Juice for Life
John's Pizzeria
Lombardi's Pizzeria
Otto Enoteca
---American
Telephone Bar and Grill
Wichcraft
---Seafood
Blue Water Grill
---Burgers
Wall Street Burger Shoppe
Cheeburger Cheeburger
---Hispanic
Taqueria
---Indian
Jackson Diner
---Places to go to...---
Blue 9 Burger
Five Guys Burger
Buffalo Wild Wings (lol I know...) EDIT: I went 8/26/09! haha so good, damn spicy!
just as an FYI for people who might be thinking, "Oh God! Well I've been to all these places, why hasn't he!?" I never really hung out in Manhattan until last year, let alone I had just started hanging out summer of Junior Year of High School and that was limited to Queens. I had only went to hang out in Manhattan twice until I came to Columbia. So yeah, this was my conquest because I really like food, and it would get me to explore areas I've never been to or that I have not been to often. I'm really glad I did this, because it really made me get to know New York City even better and while going to places I found other random things! What really inspired me was looking at a friend's pictures on facebook of food from different places in other countries and in the Tri-State area.
(sugar sweet sunshine cupcakes!)
now.. that's all for today! haha
okay...maybe not! OH! something else -- it seems fitting since we are carrying on to the new academic year.
a picture of my awesome suite from last year! i made it using paint and whole bunch copy and pastes because i was too lazy to install Photoshop that I downloaded. I loved my suite although a couple of people got on my nerves sometimes....(this is part of an album I made on Facebook, but not many will get it because of inside jokes haha, I made it one day when I was thinking about everyone and had no plans for 2 days haha)
(From top to bottom of each row: LaShanee, Nick, Dexter, Emma, Elissa, Danny, Kim, Me, Reanna, Sungmin, Alfredo)
hmm wonder how Schapiro will be.. probably a whole new but cool experience..
Another Sunny Day In / Room thoughts
Soo, here we are yet again! Do you like the new updated scheme and colors? Well I tried to kind of look up how to fix up html stuff but the main articles i'd get were how to put plug-ins into the blog and stuff, which is nice.. but not needed at this moment, we need the basics right now lol. I'm guessing people who are good with Myspace html stuff should be good with that too? Anyways, any type of help would be great! :)
So yet again I am here, another BEAUTIFUL SUNNY NOT HUMID DAY...inside. Well, I couldn't get anyone to come out today anyway, so at least I tried! But ehh I made the most of the day. I think..? Too bad no one lives around me.
I am finally getting a new computer! (another post on the details of that, but I'm going to say this first: My dad is a douchebag and a cheapass.) Moving along, for those who have seen my computer...you know it's been through some HARD times! For those of you who haven't here's the deal: It's 8.5 lbs, it has a bit of a slow processor, 1/3 of my screen is blacked out (well, grayed out) and a missing "N" key (voluntarily moved). It's been with me through for a while, even in its crappy state I wrote a 9 page paper, watched movies and would laugh in Butler library when people would look at me typing up an assignment. At least I wouldn't have to worry about someone taking my computer! After a while I got used to it, and I gained even more patience with electronic devices. The funniest thing I think about my computer was that I would use the grayed-out part and put Post-its on them detailing what I would have to do for the night, or for the next couple of days. I would put different colors so the whole 2.5 inches of blocky grayness turned into a crazy row of Post-Its, amazing. Alas, I am ready to say goodbye to this obese baby of a computer.
In addition to this I have found some new shopping sites with some really rather AMAZING clothes, however most of the clothing is in one size, so you either fit or you don't. Back to a main topic, since move-in is soon I had to think about the theme of my room for this year. And with some thinking and poster searching I really want a subtle, but still colorful. And overall a room that feels like home. Well I consider my Columbia room much more important than my home room because I do like there for 8-9 months. So I feel it's really important to make it the best I can, or I would go crazy throughout it all. So I will have to get a different set of sheets, a pillow or two, and maybe some curtains. Oh and of course the 2 or three magazines I buy to put some ads on my wall. It's going to be awesome but I have to start bookmark-ing things soon and start putting orders in. I'm so excited because I like to decorate and make my room seem more like me, but it has to be done right! This is what the first few days of no classes are for! I would have decorated my room more during the Summer Bridge Program, but the room was just way too big and would have required, quite the amount of furniture, posters and ads to decorate so.. I held off lol. Speaking of getting decorations, furniture and lamps, target and allposters.com will be hit up frequently.
Hmm although I am still slowly freaking out about school coming by so soon, getting a haircut and other stuff, it's weird how I seem to miss people that I haven't seen for a few days more than some people that I haven't seen for 3.75 months since move-out (or a little less time). Funny but it is what it is.
I think there will be another post tonight.. see you then! Remember to make an account and join blogger.com, follow my blog, and I will follow yours!
The sunset is so nice, as I sit here on my couch, the sun rays just hitting my fingers and computer. The sun bouncing off the ice in my glass of water. Just a bit calming to absorb. One day I want to go to the beach or central park, or the Brooklyn bridge or the Brooklyn bridge park and just sit and watch the sunset and talk for a bit. I think it would be nice.
See ya~~
So yet again I am here, another BEAUTIFUL SUNNY NOT HUMID DAY...inside. Well, I couldn't get anyone to come out today anyway, so at least I tried! But ehh I made the most of the day. I think..? Too bad no one lives around me.
I am finally getting a new computer! (another post on the details of that, but I'm going to say this first: My dad is a douchebag and a cheapass.) Moving along, for those who have seen my computer...you know it's been through some HARD times! For those of you who haven't here's the deal: It's 8.5 lbs, it has a bit of a slow processor, 1/3 of my screen is blacked out (well, grayed out) and a missing "N" key (voluntarily moved). It's been with me through for a while, even in its crappy state I wrote a 9 page paper, watched movies and would laugh in Butler library when people would look at me typing up an assignment. At least I wouldn't have to worry about someone taking my computer! After a while I got used to it, and I gained even more patience with electronic devices. The funniest thing I think about my computer was that I would use the grayed-out part and put Post-its on them detailing what I would have to do for the night, or for the next couple of days. I would put different colors so the whole 2.5 inches of blocky grayness turned into a crazy row of Post-Its, amazing. Alas, I am ready to say goodbye to this obese baby of a computer.
In addition to this I have found some new shopping sites with some really rather AMAZING clothes, however most of the clothing is in one size, so you either fit or you don't. Back to a main topic, since move-in is soon I had to think about the theme of my room for this year. And with some thinking and poster searching I really want a subtle, but still colorful. And overall a room that feels like home. Well I consider my Columbia room much more important than my home room because I do like there for 8-9 months. So I feel it's really important to make it the best I can, or I would go crazy throughout it all. So I will have to get a different set of sheets, a pillow or two, and maybe some curtains. Oh and of course the 2 or three magazines I buy to put some ads on my wall. It's going to be awesome but I have to start bookmark-ing things soon and start putting orders in. I'm so excited because I like to decorate and make my room seem more like me, but it has to be done right! This is what the first few days of no classes are for! I would have decorated my room more during the Summer Bridge Program, but the room was just way too big and would have required, quite the amount of furniture, posters and ads to decorate so.. I held off lol. Speaking of getting decorations, furniture and lamps, target and allposters.com will be hit up frequently.
Hmm although I am still slowly freaking out about school coming by so soon, getting a haircut and other stuff, it's weird how I seem to miss people that I haven't seen for a few days more than some people that I haven't seen for 3.75 months since move-out (or a little less time). Funny but it is what it is.
I think there will be another post tonight.. see you then! Remember to make an account and join blogger.com, follow my blog, and I will follow yours!
The sunset is so nice, as I sit here on my couch, the sun rays just hitting my fingers and computer. The sun bouncing off the ice in my glass of water. Just a bit calming to absorb. One day I want to go to the beach or central park, or the Brooklyn bridge or the Brooklyn bridge park and just sit and watch the sunset and talk for a bit. I think it would be nice.
See ya~~
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sunny Freakin Day
I come to this wonderful blog on this beautiful day..to write about just that!
After a slump of some rather awful days in new york city. From being ridiculously humid, rain, wet heat, torrential monsoon-like downpours for the past week and a half. To then have today, a breezy 80-something sunny just simply beautiful day. All sounds like a a clear reason to go out right?
Well, it seems to me that a trend has arisen lol. It just so happens that the days having the really nice weather are the days I sleep in or am just to lazy to go out and all the other days I happen to be fine with going out, no matter how the weather is. Prime example, the month of June, 23 out 30 days it rained heavily. Now I can say that I went out about, 22 days in June. and the days I happened to stay home (being the one to two days I would stay home a week) were almost ALWAYS the days it didn't rain! and so the trend continues today! I woke up at 10.. so I really could have been ready to do something by 11 to go out and do stuff. I got a text from someone in the morning but I didn't really feel like going even though I knew I should have went. I just sat in my bed for a few hour watching tv and facebooking and other stuff. Although I didn't really go out, I still had a nice day, watching some subbed Korean variety shows, some daytime talk shows and eating healthily! I hope to hangout more this week though because I don't have much time left before I leave for school.
Ahh i don't know, this feels weird.. I always get weirded out before I leave and I really don't want to leave because I have major relocation and anxiety issues when it comes to this. But after a day of two of being there I'm completely fine. Also, I want to go to Tao and Ninja NYC..they both sound like great places.
well although i didn't go out, today was still a great day.
After a slump of some rather awful days in new york city. From being ridiculously humid, rain, wet heat, torrential monsoon-like downpours for the past week and a half. To then have today, a breezy 80-something sunny just simply beautiful day. All sounds like a a clear reason to go out right?
Well, it seems to me that a trend has arisen lol. It just so happens that the days having the really nice weather are the days I sleep in or am just to lazy to go out and all the other days I happen to be fine with going out, no matter how the weather is. Prime example, the month of June, 23 out 30 days it rained heavily. Now I can say that I went out about, 22 days in June. and the days I happened to stay home (being the one to two days I would stay home a week) were almost ALWAYS the days it didn't rain! and so the trend continues today! I woke up at 10.. so I really could have been ready to do something by 11 to go out and do stuff. I got a text from someone in the morning but I didn't really feel like going even though I knew I should have went. I just sat in my bed for a few hour watching tv and facebooking and other stuff. Although I didn't really go out, I still had a nice day, watching some subbed Korean variety shows, some daytime talk shows and eating healthily! I hope to hangout more this week though because I don't have much time left before I leave for school.
Ahh i don't know, this feels weird.. I always get weirded out before I leave and I really don't want to leave because I have major relocation and anxiety issues when it comes to this. But after a day of two of being there I'm completely fine. Also, I want to go to Tao and Ninja NYC..they both sound like great places.
well although i didn't go out, today was still a great day.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
parents, casual hangouts, and the near future.
a 3 in one today.
First things first,after the past few days of semi arguing with parents about stuff for going back to school and other stuff. I've noticed that my parents don't ask me if i need anything anymore, nor do they offer. But aside from that. I am too stubborn to ask for things because I think it's foolish for them to think that I don't need any money or whatever. I know it's the attitude I bring towards these situations that leaves me with nothing because I know if I was nicer and would kindly ask for it (maybe even nag) they both would probably figure out something and I would end up with at least something. Ever since after high school I just seem to have this stubborn attitude towards my parents and on the inside I just hope for them to ask if I want/need something. I need to be nicer and less hardened with them, and I won't end up an angry child who doesn't want to be home anymore lol. I just have to learn to go back to asking them the way I did in high school, no one got mad then. Also, part in me being stubborn is just that I'm not that connected with my family, like we kind of just talk about tv and food, and nothing more...I don't even play music in my house lol.
anyways...casual hangouts. I feel that the casual hangout, the somewhat one on one or three to five person hangout is really amazing. Provided that contact is kept between hangouts so it doesn't feel really random and that you are kind of good friends with them. Sometimes when I'm hanging out I feel like there should be a camera because of how things happen, like... frig MTV should give me and friends a show because sometime I feel like I'm on the hills (or the city lol) when hanging out.. or maybe that's just how some hangouts work, walking around talking, laughing, life stuff, shopping, eating and a train ride home =) I really enjoy them and I love hanging out and catching up and or just chilling with friends, it's a priority in my life and has been for a while. I want to advance the friendships I've made so far because having some good friends are important in anyone's life. Although many friends from high school have disappeared, it's okay most of them weren't worth it anyway. Some relationships I have made in college, hmm the ones I made early on are solid, the more recent ones are odd in the sense that you are trying to get to know people who are in a completely different social circle, which means you should get to know all of them too lol. and with getting to know all of them comes the complications of 10 people or so.. it's just a bit more difficult to make some solid friends past sophomore year in my opinion but I could be wrong *hopes* Well regardless of that I am happy with the relationships i have made so far. Even the super random ones!
Lastly, I recently got a tarot reading done from a good friend of mine, and I know people have some reservations about tarot readings, psychics, palm readings etc. I feel that some of them have some truth to them, or in my case a lot of truth. Who would have known by just splitting a deck and drawing some cards things would have turned out the way they did. I would choose not really to talk about it, just because..well just 'cuz, but it made a lot of sense and in short, I have to trust myself and do what I know is right and stop being indecisive or caught up in too many things. (I generalized it, there was much more to that.)
--Okay I'm out.. I have to catch up on some facebook posts, watch a movie downstairs and turn on this damn air conditioner. see ya.
First things first,after the past few days of semi arguing with parents about stuff for going back to school and other stuff. I've noticed that my parents don't ask me if i need anything anymore, nor do they offer. But aside from that. I am too stubborn to ask for things because I think it's foolish for them to think that I don't need any money or whatever. I know it's the attitude I bring towards these situations that leaves me with nothing because I know if I was nicer and would kindly ask for it (maybe even nag) they both would probably figure out something and I would end up with at least something. Ever since after high school I just seem to have this stubborn attitude towards my parents and on the inside I just hope for them to ask if I want/need something. I need to be nicer and less hardened with them, and I won't end up an angry child who doesn't want to be home anymore lol. I just have to learn to go back to asking them the way I did in high school, no one got mad then. Also, part in me being stubborn is just that I'm not that connected with my family, like we kind of just talk about tv and food, and nothing more...I don't even play music in my house lol.
anyways...casual hangouts. I feel that the casual hangout, the somewhat one on one or three to five person hangout is really amazing. Provided that contact is kept between hangouts so it doesn't feel really random and that you are kind of good friends with them. Sometimes when I'm hanging out I feel like there should be a camera because of how things happen, like... frig MTV should give me and friends a show because sometime I feel like I'm on the hills (or the city lol) when hanging out.. or maybe that's just how some hangouts work, walking around talking, laughing, life stuff, shopping, eating and a train ride home =) I really enjoy them and I love hanging out and catching up and or just chilling with friends, it's a priority in my life and has been for a while. I want to advance the friendships I've made so far because having some good friends are important in anyone's life. Although many friends from high school have disappeared, it's okay most of them weren't worth it anyway. Some relationships I have made in college, hmm the ones I made early on are solid, the more recent ones are odd in the sense that you are trying to get to know people who are in a completely different social circle, which means you should get to know all of them too lol. and with getting to know all of them comes the complications of 10 people or so.. it's just a bit more difficult to make some solid friends past sophomore year in my opinion but I could be wrong *hopes* Well regardless of that I am happy with the relationships i have made so far. Even the super random ones!
Lastly, I recently got a tarot reading done from a good friend of mine, and I know people have some reservations about tarot readings, psychics, palm readings etc. I feel that some of them have some truth to them, or in my case a lot of truth. Who would have known by just splitting a deck and drawing some cards things would have turned out the way they did. I would choose not really to talk about it, just because..well just 'cuz, but it made a lot of sense and in short, I have to trust myself and do what I know is right and stop being indecisive or caught up in too many things. (I generalized it, there was much more to that.)
--Okay I'm out.. I have to catch up on some facebook posts, watch a movie downstairs and turn on this damn air conditioner. see ya.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
picture issues
okay so... I guess i have to google how to resize pictures using html... ugh because I'm a perfectionist and I don't this 3/4 of a picture shwoing up on my screen business.
=P
=P
The Recent Rundown, and some thoughts
(I think the picture suits the tone for the first paragraph)
Well after coming home, it was so awkward, I wasn't hungry although I only had cereal and a portion for a croissant sandwich at Deluxe, tv wasn't appealing at all, all i knew is that i left and i needed to get back into shape because i gained 2 pounds during ASP. I'm really serious about getting into shape, first of all because during the break is the main time i can get focus with that type of stuff and 2) because I don't like gaining weight. Honestly though, that didn't even matter at this point and I was just mentally drained. Well enough about sad things. Well as the days passed by things got better within my head, as does happen with every move out. Actualy, my first move out was not emotional at all, perhaps because I didn't get too close to anyone in my suite freshman year, but this past year it was hard moving out because my suite was awesome. Onto the other random things I want to talk about.
So a super random drama wrap up without disclosing much. Well in short, I don't think that people who clearly ar uhappy should be together and constantly break up and get back together for unsubstantial reasons and sometimes, honestly, one party is truly settling for less. Eventually it gets frustrating to deal with the aftermath of a breakup more than 3 times, for the set to get back together in less than 2 days. It's really not fair to the friends around who try to help out (myself included). And for people wondering --"Well why don't you tell them?" well I have, and they are not people who listen to anything anyone says, they both are people who have to learn the hard way which is why I'm slowly growing indifferent to the situation. --Anyways, they are back together now, and will break up eventually again, next time I won't be there though.
Now comes the question: What should I do now?
I had many things I wanted to do, even an extensive list of places to eat at before my job started, but now...what is there really to do? I don't have anything in particular in mind, I have about 2 restaurants left that I want to go to but they are a bit pricey so I think I'll wait for a more special occasion, or just for more people who are willing to spend some cash so I won't feel bad. And I also don't have anymore income coming in my way... so I want to at least try to conserve money for a while and the only clothing I have interest in buying is short sleeve shirts, preferably a brighter color, just because my closet has so many dark colors. Anyways, what should I do, I usually have some type of conquest, but now I'm just bumming around which does get boring after a while. Maybe I should try to organize a lot of high school people hangouts, however, people are ALWAYS busy or don't just want to have a 2 person group to hang out =/ Perhaps I should use my $25 dollar gift card and go buy a book to read. Hmm I don't know. Maybe I should go around to famous buildings? ad then explore the area around? (EDIT! as of 1:50AM 8/18/09 I have received word from a friend of new food places to try out! Yay! However.. I'm not really that pumped for it, although I do love to try the occasional cupcake haha!)
There was something that I have been thinking about lately, but I have really forgotten what I was going to say. Well one thing that ALWAYS comes to mind is when I am eating potato chips. Okay so don't you ever wish that whatever powder that was on the chips that gave them flavor, would come in a little spice bottle. I wonder sometimes how food would taste if I put some "Cool Ranch" or "Smokin' Cheddar BBQ" flavor in it! Wouldn't that be awesome! Also I really really really want to play a good game of volleyball, but no one ever wants to go to the park anymore...what's up with that? Like during high school me and people went all the time, but now no one wants to do it. I may look like I am not physically active, but I actually can do a lot more than anyone thinks. Which is a good surprise I suppose, but bad for first impressions lol. Speaking of first impressions..damn those are always hard, because you want to put your best foot forward but not so forward that you end up stepping on the other person's foot; in some cases even STOMPING on them. Alas, I think I have learned to make a good impression on guys and girls, such a different approach for both but you still have to be "you" you know? hmm I guess I'm rambling now and I'm come back with a new topic instead of the rundown of the past couple of days because it would make things more creative to come with topics rather than journal entries! (However I felt these past couple of entries were necessary to fill the gap of of the of the shut down)
I guess I will watch some television, eat, get my tan on, and watch youtube for now until someone drags me out of my house (you know who you are people..remmeber that last post right?.. -_-) okay that's a lie...I usually end up asking someone to go out and do something because I'm bored.
See ya in a bit!
ASP Summer Program -- My Job (Part 2)
(The RC Staff: Melissa, Alla, Albert, Me, Nicole and Dominique)
Now onto where I fit into all of this crazy administrative work. Being an RC is just another way of saying: RA + Tutor + Rule Enforcer + Counselor + Escort + Parent + Friend (well for me towards the last 3 weeks of the program it was really important for me to get to know some of the students because I had really cared about them and wanted to know who they really were) It was not the hardest job, however it just required a lot of energy. It was pretty much a 24 hour job and the only main breaks we would have were when the students were in class, from 9-11:40 and 1:25-4:05 haha. which during those times I would youtube, catch up on downloading music, bs on the phone, escape for a quick hangout (that didn't happen much though lol) or nap! We would have to wake up around 7-7:30 and would go to sleep... at some time very late at night. I can only speak for me and Albert, my late sleeping was a result of talking to students or helping them out with some problem and Albert's was just because he played computer games or would argue on the phone (oh the drama) until the hours of 3am to 5am. Alas, at the end of the week we would have little events for them to go out and explore the city and such. Oh man i remember the first weekend when I took like 13 of them to central park/5th ave/Rockefeller center/bryant park/times square/giant toys r' us. Only two of the 13 were from new york and the rest were all new to the NYC subway system, I was so afraid one of them was going to get left behind because the trains were so crowded that day. (And Albert, being the brilliant child he is.. straight up deaded me) I kept doing headcounts to make sure everyone was around haha. But after the train situation when we got to central park, it was all good then and I had so much fun being a semi tour guide. Then we went to a crapload of stores, which some of the guys did not too much care for, but one girl, Tanea she was just aimed on cleaning out stores haha. I took some to Magnolia and the Nintendo store (so fun!) but it was such a tiring day because i hadn't eaten since breakfast at like.. 9 and I did not eat dinner until 10pm aha! Anyways that's the type of thing i did with most of the students, I wanted to take them to places around NYC that are often missed by New Yorkers that have been living here for a long time. Because wouldn't it be nice to throw it in someone's face to all the places you've gone to haha! Soo we explored Union Square, East and West Village, 86th Street to 72nd street area, Soho/Noho Area, Brooklyn Bridge area (on both sides), and other places i can't remember at this point in time. This is how I feel about it, I didn't about anything in Manahttan really until the middle of my freshman year, I know that sounds a bt sad, but hey.. I really didn't start even hanging out with friends until the summer of junior year of high school, and then then we would hang out in Queens and stuff. I'm going off topic.
(Some of my favorite people right here! Vince, Jose, Bryan, Jessica and Jorge)
Okay last paragraph on this program. The students. I was in charge of 14 SEAS students. However I still take pride in being the first RC to know everyone's name! (hell... the first member out of the entire staff of the program to know everyone's name ;] ) Well I'd like to call some or most of them my friends because, well I can't speak for any of the other RC's but after a while they grew on me and I really cared about them and would share stuff with them and whatnot. I probably scared most of them at first with 1)the Asian music, 2) the constant changing of my clothes and 3) me just being..me. After a while instead of them coming to my room to talk, OH MAN THEY WOULD INVADE MY ROOM!!! because I had a double, to myself and I put the 2 beds together thus making a full size bed and making a baller room. and like anywhere from 3-8 people would be in my time at random times just chatting, for the most part I really liked it because...well who doesn't like chatting with people..and I do get lonely very easily lol. But back to what I was saying: I would go to their rooms and sit around and ask what they are doing and such. You know, high school seems like SUCH a long time ago and it was so interesting and refreshing meeting people who just came out of highschool and have different mentalities than the regular college student, given that also means some of them are not the most mature, it helps you regain some of the perspectives you had on life a bit before high school. I told my guys that they did more for me than they could ever imagine because, just meeting them changed me in some ways. I hope I was able to help them in some way because that was my goal, to help out and be the most honest I could be with them about Columbia (because no one really told me many important things to be aware about while attending Columbia (especially if you are an engineering student.) Ugh that's why it was so hard for me when all of them moved out.. such a sad time, because I had a small group in which I got really close to during the time. Okay whatever I'm going to seem them soon anyway. They were all good people and I had a great time those five weeks (awesome coworkers too!!!) and some students were oh so scandalous (crazy sex things going around and truth or dare games haha) but yeah the students and the coworkers were more than amazing.
(Me and a whole lot of the students!)
ALSO! i went to some baller parties and had some rather.. interesting things happened during my escape time and my days off...la..la..laaaa lol
ASP Program -- My Job (Part 1)
First of all, I am back, after... a somewhat long hiatus!
Well since the last entry, and consequently the "temporary shutdown" of this blog, many many things have happened. So, let's start with my wonderful (honestly) job as a residential counselor (RC) at Columbia University for the ASP Summer Bridge program. Well, first of all, I;m going to explain what the program was all about. The students of the program were chosen for usually one or both of the following reasons: That they came from schools that did not offer many higher level classes such as Calculus, Chemistry, Physics or intensive writing classes. Or that they area minority and come from a lower income family thus qualifying them for HEOP or NOP. It's mostly the latter but for some, these people are just well off but have never taken higher level class. The whole point of the program was to try to give them a head start or in some case help them to be on the level as other incoming freshman. So they have to take 4 classes, different depending on is they are in the engineering or liberal arts school, they get homework, have midterms, have to take finals, and have mandatory tutoring sessions. As a side note, th students will not be receiving credit for the classes they are taking during this 5 week period, and th grades they receive technically do not matter. So when the students found that out, some instantly started to become indifferent with the program, which is understandable. The program also tries to introduce the kids to the various resources of Columbia by giving, a ridiculous amount of workshops, which in my opinion, most of the students will really not remember until the time comes for them or actually utilize these offices and stuff. But I guess the staff thinks otherwise. But it came to a point when many of the students barely had time to do anything they wanted because all of these mandatory events. But i suppose all these events help out when the office creates the proposal that is sent to the government to ask for the funding for the program. In my opinion though, the program does somewhat help them academically, but doesn't really give them a taste of Columbia and what they will be doing freshman, because honestly you are alone and YOU get to dictate what you want to do and when YOU feel like doing it. Over here, me and the other RC's would get on the students to do stuff on time and what not but during the year, you won't have anyone to tell you that you should doing work. Lastly, before I get to describing what I did during the past few weeks, let's describing the whole "boundaries" issue that the program enforces. Well, the students are not supposed to go past 110th Street and 120th Street between Riverside Drive and Morningside Drive (plus or minus like 5 streets around), just for the reason that around half of the people in the program were not from New York and could easily get lost or something could happen to them (or some of the New Yorkers who haven't been around NYC much as well) and technically speaking the program is responsible for these students and stuff.. and no one wants a law suit on their hands. And if the students would want anywhere significantly away from campus, then an RC would have to be with them. Honestly, it's not really as if anyone was posted on the corners of the streets to watch, we pretty much just had to hope they didn't go beyond these "boundaries."
Well since the last entry, and consequently the "temporary shutdown" of this blog, many many things have happened. So, let's start with my wonderful (honestly) job as a residential counselor (RC) at Columbia University for the ASP Summer Bridge program. Well, first of all, I;m going to explain what the program was all about. The students of the program were chosen for usually one or both of the following reasons: That they came from schools that did not offer many higher level classes such as Calculus, Chemistry, Physics or intensive writing classes. Or that they area minority and come from a lower income family thus qualifying them for HEOP or NOP. It's mostly the latter but for some, these people are just well off but have never taken higher level class. The whole point of the program was to try to give them a head start or in some case help them to be on the level as other incoming freshman. So they have to take 4 classes, different depending on is they are in the engineering or liberal arts school, they get homework, have midterms, have to take finals, and have mandatory tutoring sessions. As a side note, th students will not be receiving credit for the classes they are taking during this 5 week period, and th grades they receive technically do not matter. So when the students found that out, some instantly started to become indifferent with the program, which is understandable. The program also tries to introduce the kids to the various resources of Columbia by giving, a ridiculous amount of workshops, which in my opinion, most of the students will really not remember until the time comes for them or actually utilize these offices and stuff. But I guess the staff thinks otherwise. But it came to a point when many of the students barely had time to do anything they wanted because all of these mandatory events. But i suppose all these events help out when the office creates the proposal that is sent to the government to ask for the funding for the program. In my opinion though, the program does somewhat help them academically, but doesn't really give them a taste of Columbia and what they will be doing freshman, because honestly you are alone and YOU get to dictate what you want to do and when YOU feel like doing it. Over here, me and the other RC's would get on the students to do stuff on time and what not but during the year, you won't have anyone to tell you that you should doing work. Lastly, before I get to describing what I did during the past few weeks, let's describing the whole "boundaries" issue that the program enforces. Well, the students are not supposed to go past 110th Street and 120th Street between Riverside Drive and Morningside Drive (plus or minus like 5 streets around), just for the reason that around half of the people in the program were not from New York and could easily get lost or something could happen to them (or some of the New Yorkers who haven't been around NYC much as well) and technically speaking the program is responsible for these students and stuff.. and no one wants a law suit on their hands. And if the students would want anywhere significantly away from campus, then an RC would have to be with them. Honestly, it's not really as if anyone was posted on the corners of the streets to watch, we pretty much just had to hope they didn't go beyond these "boundaries."
Monday, July 13, 2009
shut down
this blog.. has become what i did not want it to become.. just a long series a drafted messages when i get pissed off at someone or upset about something that's going on. So i'm not going to use it anymore. This shouldn't be what my blog is about... I don't want to be like this...
this will inactive until things are fixed...
this will inactive until things are fixed...
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