Day 24: Family Forever

Before I get to the main topic, I'll have to add some things about recent changes. I have kind of gotten tot he point where I feel I don't need/want a boyfriend-- for now I think.. I still need to work on myself a bit more before I can have a boyfriend and also because I don't want to be tied down just yet, especially when I just started trying out the night scene. But that's not the main reason..i don't know..there is still a bit more to work on BUT I do think I can make a good first impression now when it comes to new men and I do know...that I can get whoever with a little effort. (that's not in a cocky tone..more like in a confident tone) When the opportunity presents itself again though, I'll have a whole different approach.

Some issues were brought up to me lately. I was in a search as to why I felt lonely,  what exactly was the root cause of the feeling and how to go about fixing it. A few months ago, I was more concerned with having a relationship because I loved the idea of one -- having someone to spend time with always or when you need them, somebody to love, a partner, etc. I didn't exaclty need a romantic relationship, what I did need to do was strengthen relationships I've had my entire life: my family.

Sounds a tad odd but the things Ive needed have een right in front of me all along albeit not in the same form.. but what I wanted from a relationship and the availability and friendship I wanted from friends could be satisfied by becoming closer with my family. My relationship with my mom and sister for a good amount of years has been not so great, we have small talk but its not super substantial. Something I am doing now is repairing that by letting them get to know me. (For numerous reasons that are out of the scope of this discussion I had built walls up with my family)

Bottom line: Your family is always going to be around and for the most part are obligated to deal with you and will be around to talk, laugh and cry with you. Given you can't talk to them about everything, other topics can be for friends. If you have friends that don't want to be super mega close and almost like family...then you can't expect a ton from them..or try and enhance your relationship with them. The input and output of the relationship can't be heavier on one end than the other. I can't speak on this anymore -- but I have mixed feelings about all of this. I am getting closer with my family..but relieving my friends of certain duties I mentally associated them with? Idk.. but I am certain this will work out for the best!

I love my family, i love them so so much.

I love my friends as well.. but I think most of the people I have surrounded myself with don't want to have the closeness and the type of relationship that makes me call them ..like a brother or sister to me. I have so much to offer as a friend...but I guess I should output a bit less..and put less weights on their shoulders. I'm scared..but I'm happy for myself.

Day 21: Back to school list!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while -- been a tad busy! Some great things have been happening lately!

School is coming around the corner!

So it's important to map out all the essentials that you'll need!

Here's my list:

Energy Products

In particular, lots of 5 hour energy. I'd recommend to buy it in bulk in the 24 pack lol. This stuff works, and there really isn't any crash. It's better than caffeine and you feel the rush pretty quickly which is good. Also, you dont need to take the whole bottle if you don't want to, if you need a short boost, just drink half -- works for me. 

Food

(That's the best cereal I've had in my entire life btw) Get on those grocery store/wholesale store/super store sales now!! Remember to buy lots of water, cereal, plastic everything (bowls, plates, cups, utensils), yogurt, chips, cookies, salsa, 100 calories packs to pretend you are healthy, and other cooking ingredients.

Alcohol

If you can do this when you are home, it'll probably be cheaper. So save up some cash and buy your favorite alcoholic item! Fun fun

Room Design

If you want to have a certain theme for your room, might as well go to target/ikea/walmart or somewhere where you can get everything you want for a decent price. Also for posters: allposters.com has always been a good site for me.

Illegal/Prescription things

Ya'll know what that means. If you are into that stuff, well be sure to put some money on the side to get that lol. I only mention it because I know people have like.. a fund dedicated to this xD.

Get readyyy and buying all this stuff should be exciting for most people. I really enjoy room design the most..although you can end up spending a fortune.

Til next time! (No worries there are more topics that are slowly creeping up to be spoken about -- just that inpsiration has been at a low point for now haha)