A question for you // Ugh Jobs // Non-Asians (YAY)

first things first!! I got my new computer as of 9/9/09! lol -- a lot earlier than I expected to receive it! It's so nice and completely functional lol.

I'm a bit fuzzy on a certain issue -- of just, well insincere people-- and if they should even be classified as such. For example, say you have friends that you hang out with on occasionally. The nature of the hangout is purely casual, and you aren't in this primary circle of people. But for the most part, they are very nice to you and always mention hanging out together or simply talk to outside of class sometimes. However eventually you find out that all these events have been happening, and you weren't really included. But given that they want you to hang out with them, and you have made attempts to hang out with them, but their feelings don't seem to add up. Now the question is, are they being insincere...consequently, fake -- in even being interested in you as a friend by not REALLY wanting to hang out with you. OR are they clearly being real because if they don't want to hang out with you, the won't call you just because they said they want to hang out "sometime," and you should have gotten the picture by now. Just let that sink in for a bit..
Note: If you know me, you'd know exactly whcih people I'm talking about lol -- funny thing is, I have told them this too, and I get a "What are you talking about? *with odd look on face*"

Alas, this past week has been alright, nothing particularly special except for getting some clothes, shoes and stuff in the mail. I honestly have to stop spending money on food, and consequently.. for like the rest of the month.. i think my limit will be 10 bucks a week.. or rather for the next 4 weeks. Trust me, I can do this just because of the simple fact that I survived on 5 bucks for like 2 months at some point last year (given I had a larger meal plan last year). I have food stocked up in my rather large bin. So I can sustain myself. and if not, I'll have to use money I suppose. But I took my debit card out of my wallet and it's in my desk now. And when I do that, I make a decision to put a stop to all funds and transactions.

Ugh, tomorrow will probably be the first week of 4 problem sets, frequent Spanish homework and perhaps the start of an art humanities paper. Now, this will... be the end of many large stints of free time I have now which is a bit sad but we have to do what we must to succeed in life. Hopefully I could get this internship I applied to (well there will be more to apply to in the coming days) because I think I have an "in" on it. However, I honestly feel I'm not too qualified compared to other people I know who actually know in this field and did "real" stuff this summer. (Note: I know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others, however, employers do, so that shit matters -- gpa, experience, etc. stfu if you are saying it does not because you are lying.) Someone who can actually talk about finance or..something along those lines, which I honestly can't do -- although I am becoming more and more interested in this certain field I don't quite know if I'm just trying to convince myself if this is the right thing, or if it really is. It the true answer is the former, (I do not really know yet because I still trying to figure out stuff and for myself is this is great) then we have a slight problem.
rawr but for now what I am going to do, is what I've been doing, maxminizing my opportunities, converting myself back into an ultra efficient student, staying true to myself and being cognizant of my actions and there consequences and staying/hanging with real, legitimate people.

--"The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed." --Richard Brinsley Sheridan

it's on my wall in my room, and honestly I could not ask for something else to describe my work ethic, however I consequently lose a bit of my sanity, but that is fine.

Aside from all this, the 4A crew & co. is awesome, they always been my peoples kudos to the world for setting up that suite. (well the ones we hang with) And they are...well, my only non asian circle of people, which honestly can be really refreshing at times -- because like it's really no offense to them, because I am still there friends lol but.. it's just interesting and nice with the others haha. (oh and the frosh are also non asian too, but then again.. they drop into a different category on their own because they are frosh--that will be something to mention on a later post.

I'm out. see ya.